What Do I Do??

As a mom, my most important task is raising our children. I am learning that this parental assignment by God is challenging and complex. With having 4 bundles of joy to parent, and their different personalities and different stages in each of their lives I find myself experiencing extremes of joyfulness to disappointment and hurt.

For months now our Asher has been having an issue with screaming. It used to be more of a communication thing....mainly around meal times. Meal time seems to be under control on the most part now. Now, for the past couple months we have been dealing with screaming, hitting, and pushing from Asher onto other kids. He will also go from extremes when meeting new people or people coming to the door of running to hug them to standing at their feet and screaming at them. I was so frustrated this past weekend when we had people over at our house both days and for hours (seriously) we had to intervene with him screaming at or hitting or pushing the kids that were over. He seems to do this behavior to kids that are younger then him or show intimidation to him after he screams at them. Almost like he is wanting power or control over them? I don't know...does that make sense? What about the screaming to adults that talk to him or come over?

Last night we had people over and one of the adults that was here commented that "he is just mean" and we have had several other parents of children that are over defend their children and attempt to discipline him by firmly saying or even yelling at him. Seeing and hearing other adults respond to him like this is breaking my heart. As a mom maybe I see some of his behavior reflecting on my parenting, but if I honestly knew how I should be handling him I WOULD TRY...I would.

My heart is so heavy for our boy who seems to be feeling so frustrated with other children touching his toys, or sometimes even looking at him will set him off. This behavior has recently caused us to leave the McDonalds play place because he hit a boy with his happy meal toy, and caused us to leave play dates or family visits earlier then anticipated. After last night I don't even want to have friends and their children over to play unless they are older. I do not know how Asher will respond in every situation we go into (and yes I do tell him what to expect before going places and people come over) and it is causing me to feel saddened. I want him to respect others, to be kind and loving. I don't think that is too much to ask. Am I wrong?

If you are thinking of trying time outs...we have tried those. We have taken him to the corner...we have taken him to his bedroom. We have tried spanking and we have tried the other extreme of sitting with him and loving him giving him some one to one attention too. He will apologize but that doesn't always stop the behavior and we seem to be on a vicious cycle. He seems to get like this mainly when people come over to our house or we go to a new place with more kids there. I have heard too many "this is just a stage" to wait it out and have people respond negatively to him in the meantime.

I want Asher to grow up feeling loved and secure. I want him to respect others and be kind. I want to discipline him in a way that is effective to raise a child who is obedient and has the fruit of the Spirit growing and developing within his little body for others to see. I want others to love him as Jesus and I do.

So as Dr. Dobson states "God, in his infinite wisdom, created and ordained the family as the basic unit of procreation and companionship." I ask you to join with me as I seek His divine assistance through the power of prayer to our Heavenly Father.

Jesus, I cry out for your help with my parenting. Please guide me to the tools to effectively handle situations with our kids to promote them to be the best little people they can be. Please come over our Asher and work in him...fill him with peace and remove any kind of anger he feels towards others. You know my heart Jesus and how I long for my actions to be pleasing to you and how I want to do the best job I can in raising these 4 children that you have blessed us with. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Celebrate with a Friend!

Go on over and visit a dear friend of mine:

Titus2:3-5: Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

She is having a little party, and you can get in on the fun too! Also add her to your reading list as she has many insightful things to discuss and I have found her writing to be such an encouragement! Thanks Tyler!!

Our Family Day

On Monday, February 15 we celebrated Family Day by going to the Calgary Zoo. The weather was beautiful and we were excited about "changing it up a little" in terms of our routine. So, Wes let me sleep in a little in the morning and we decided kind of last minute that is what we would do with our day. It was so much last minute that I ended up forgetting the diaper bag at home by the door. We did not realize this until we got the kids all packed up in the stroller in the Zoo parking lot...so back in the van we went and headed to the nearest Wal-Mart to purchase diapers, pre-made formula, a bottle and baby wipes. There was a time when I might have let this minor set-back throw me right off and destroy my whole day...but then I met Wes. Through him I am able to see that things that once seemed like the end of the world, really aren't and we have the choice to how we are going to let it affect us and the rest of our day. God is also revealing this to me as my Fruit of the Spirit are ripening within me.

So the photo above is once we got into the African exhibit where the giraffes are. I have never been to the Zoo in the winter, but as you can probably imagine, the smell in those buildings without the priviledge of fresh air coming in can get pretty STINKY! Addison was the only one who reacted quite negatively to the smell, holding his nose the entire time and pretty much just wanting to get the heck outta there. He didn't care about seeing the animals indoors, and I found in the 2nd building we went to he reacted even more negatively by throwing a little temper tantrum that he didn't to see the monkeys (and that is all he had been talking about all day!).


Asher looking up like "are you my mommy?" Haha...so cute!

Our little (ok big) family minus one photographer mommy! Do you notice how Asher is closing his eyes here? This is his new thing if he realizes I am taking his photo and he is quite intentional about it...like "if I can't see you, you can't see me...."

My oldest boys acting like the crazy animals they are :) My boys constantly show me the differences between girls and boys and I still have a lot to learn. I thank God for Wes everyday that he can give me a little insight as to how boys think and why they act the way they do....Abigail is going to be easy breezy if you ask me :)

So, overall a very fun day and a much needed little get-away if even for a few hours. Thank you my dear family for all your love!

Lent

Whenever I have heard of Lent I only heard of people giving certain things up like coffee or chocolate and never did explore what the real meaning of it was....until this year.

After some research online, I learned that Lent is the period of the year leading up to Easter. The traditional purpose is the preparation of the believer through through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial. (What is penitency and almsgiving you might ask?? It is ok, I didn't know either as I read this definition in Wikipedia. Pentinency-the desire to be forgiven. Almsgiving-involves giving materially to another as an act of religious virtue) Lent runs for 40 days (calculated differently by different religions) to represent the time that Jesus spent in the desert before the beginning of his public ministry where he endured much temptation by satan. Sundays are not calculated in the 40 days as Sundays are already celebrated for the Resurrection of Jesus. So, I am committing my Lent time until April 3, 2010.

There are many sites that give information on Lent, research it for yourself. You will find some people who take it seriously and some people who say they are "would" do something "BUT"....

I am choosing to join the "I WILL" club and look forward to this time as a time of spiritual growth and reflection and am excited to see how God will work in my life during this time. I have decided to give up Facebook. Does that seem silly to you? It seems silly saying it. The reason that I need to deny myself access to Facebook is that it is a major distraction to me. When I am home alone with the kids I go online and check FB at least 5 times throughout the day...this 5 times a day might only require a few minutes to read status updates but moreoften times it includes me joining groups (photography mostly) which leads to looking at photographers websites and then I start reading blogs...and before I know it the kids are pulling at my arms and an hour has gone by. God has been telling me that this is not productive and that I should be spending this time with Him and the Word. He wants my time and why do I want to put my time into such mindless activity...really...

So, there you have it...me....Lent...40 days of giving my FB time to someone that really matters. Look forward to more posts about what I am learning in this time and how God is working! Praise Him with me today would you??

Gold Medal

That is Aidan in the air with the "red" chest protector. An awesome first match as he was fighting a boy that was his age but a belt higher. The first match seemed to build Aidan's confidence and he came out roarin' at the second match. I have never seen him so aggressive and he definitely intimidated the competitor.

Aidan won both his matches at the taekwondo tournament in Provost last weekend and so he received his first GOLD medal. Well as you can see in the photo below he actually got a "certificate" that states a he is the recipient of a gold medal which was going to be mailed to his taekwondo school. (I was really missing that gold medal shot...I know, I know....all about the pics!)

Way to go Aidan...we are so proud of you and all the hard work you put into taekwondo. Please let mom keep taking your picture :) Haha!