As a mom, my most important task is raising our children. I am learning that this parental assignment by God is challenging and complex. With having 4 bundles of joy to parent, and their different personalities and different stages in each of their lives I find myself experiencing extremes of joyfulness to disappointment and hurt.
For months now our Asher has been having an issue with screaming. It used to be more of a communication thing....mainly around meal times. Meal time seems to be under control on the most part now. Now, for the past couple months we have been dealing with screaming, hitting, and pushing from Asher onto other kids. He will also go from extremes when meeting new people or people coming to the door of running to hug them to standing at their feet and screaming at them. I was so frustrated this past weekend when we had people over at our house both days and for hours (seriously) we had to intervene with him screaming at or hitting or pushing the kids that were over. He seems to do this behavior to kids that are younger then him or show intimidation to him after he screams at them. Almost like he is wanting power or control over them? I don't know...does that make sense? What about the screaming to adults that talk to him or come over?
Last night we had people over and one of the adults that was here commented that "he is just mean" and we have had several other parents of children that are over defend their children and attempt to discipline him by firmly saying or even yelling at him. Seeing and hearing other adults respond to him like this is breaking my heart. As a mom maybe I see some of his behavior reflecting on my parenting, but if I honestly knew how I should be handling him I WOULD TRY...I would.
My heart is so heavy for our boy who seems to be feeling so frustrated with other children touching his toys, or sometimes even looking at him will set him off. This behavior has recently caused us to leave the McDonalds play place because he hit a boy with his happy meal toy, and caused us to leave play dates or family visits earlier then anticipated. After last night I don't even want to have friends and their children over to play unless they are older. I do not know how Asher will respond in every situation we go into (and yes I do tell him what to expect before going places and people come over) and it is causing me to feel saddened. I want him to respect others, to be kind and loving. I don't think that is too much to ask. Am I wrong?
If you are thinking of trying time outs...we have tried those. We have taken him to the corner...we have taken him to his bedroom. We have tried spanking and we have tried the other extreme of sitting with him and loving him giving him some one to one attention too. He will apologize but that doesn't always stop the behavior and we seem to be on a vicious cycle. He seems to get like this mainly when people come over to our house or we go to a new place with more kids there. I have heard too many "this is just a stage" to wait it out and have people respond negatively to him in the meantime.
I want Asher to grow up feeling loved and secure. I want him to respect others and be kind. I want to discipline him in a way that is effective to raise a child who is obedient and has the fruit of the Spirit growing and developing within his little body for others to see. I want others to love him as Jesus and I do.
So as Dr. Dobson states "God, in his infinite wisdom, created and ordained the family as the basic unit of procreation and companionship." I ask you to join with me as I seek His divine assistance through the power of prayer to our Heavenly Father.
Jesus, I cry out for your help with my parenting. Please guide me to the tools to effectively handle situations with our kids to promote them to be the best little people they can be. Please come over our Asher and work in him...fill him with peace and remove any kind of anger he feels towards others. You know my heart Jesus and how I long for my actions to be pleasing to you and how I want to do the best job I can in raising these 4 children that you have blessed us with. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.