Friday, May 29, 2009

Live Your Faith

Yesterday was a very exciting day for me....maybe for some others in our family too, but all I can account for on here are my emotions and those alone. We had our ultrasound yesterday and we found out (without 100% accuracy as ultrasounds don't guarantee gender) that we are having a little GIRL. Yes...a girl! A baby girl, girl, girl. I was so emotional over this exciting news, I couldn't call enough people or smile any bigger. Tears of joy ran out of the corner of my eyes as I thanked God first and foremost. And with that I have a "God story" for you....

I hear God "speaking" to me often...usually it is when I am getting ready in the mornings, in our bathroom. A couple of months ago, early on in the pregnancy, I was in the shower and God told me "I will give you a girl." He keeps His messages to me pretty short and sweet, unless that is all I am able to "hear" at this time in my life. It took me a while to process this, and as with all things in a pregnancy, everyone seems to guess what you are having and I really felt like I was having a boy...except for this one message that I "heard" the one day. I told Wes about it a few weeks later, and remember asking him...well who else would tell me this? Who else but God? Who else meets me in the morning like this, in the shower, as I sing/hum worship songs and often pray as I wash my hair? But, I kept on telling peopole that I thought this baby was a boy...because part of me didn't want to feel diappointed if it was a boy. (We already have three wonderful boys) I know how I felt when we found out that Asher was a boy, and it took me time to deal with the fact that I wasn't going to have the little girl I so longed for. I didn't want to feel sad again. I was preparing myself mentally for a boy, just in case. Then, earlier on this week, on Monday I think it was...God met me in the morning again and I heard "just trust me." Well now this really got me thinking...but I still wasn't able to 100% trust what I was "hearing" because I was scared. And now, as we found out yesterday...God was speaking to me all along...He was telling me what I longed to know, what my heart desired so deeply...that we would have a baby girl in our family.

So, now I feel a bit foolish...I was even scared to tell anyone about what I heard (except Wes) because what if what I was hearing was wrong? Did I put those little thoughts in my head? What if I was just making stuff up to make me think a certain way?? Why did I doubt the word of God? How do I not do that again? Why can't it be easier to "hear" Him? I can't put a fleece out like Gideon (Judges 6)and command God to show me certain things to prove to me that He is real, and that His word and His love are real. I need to live my faith and trust fully in His word, His plan, and His love.

Wow...isn't He amazing?

4 comments:

ET @ Titus2:3-5 said...

I love those moments of His still small whisper to the soul, and I especially love the confirmation!

I have walked in that place, hearing-doubting-confirmation. But I have also walked the other walk, hearing-trusting-wrong. Yet in spite of those times where I get mixed up, I do KNOW that God speaks, and I will CHOOSE to trust even though I've done so before and been wrong.

The hardest part of faith is continuing to believe even where we don't understand.

So yeah, um, not really related to your post, lol. But anywhooo...

How are you and babes doing today?

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