Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Amazed...

As I lay on the loveseat with my extremely swollen feet elevated and under an ice pack I am revelling in the amazement of our Heavenly Father.

On the weekend I attended a Simulcast at our church that had Beth Moore speaking on "The Heart of our Desires." One of the things that kept coming to me over and over on Friday evening as I listened to Beth's statements about Psalm 37 Verse4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart"
was that this baby girl that I am carrying has been a desire of my heart probably since Aidan was born...that is a good 10 years girlfriends! Beth talks about a legitimate heart desire has a wait involved...it has to be tested by time and a sustained longing that is unaffected by mood or surroundings. The desire has to be cultivated in us. Well I had a whole garden of little girl ideas going on in my head...any little girl I could get my hands on I would paint their nails, do their hair, even shop for little girl clothes for everyone elses little girls.

With each pregnancy I longed for a little girl of my own...and when we were pregnant with our third baby and found out he was a boy through the ultrasound, I faced a good couple of weeks of having to deal with the fact that I might only be the mother to boys. It was almost like grieving for something I thought I might have the chance of getting but then didn't get. Not that I was not thankful for our dearest little Asher, but I had to deal with the fact that a deep desire was, once again, turned down by God. But now I see that God rewards preservance of faith and I can't stop smiling about all He has given me in this little girl and more...

Today this baby girl of ours is 33 weeks gestation. This is the longest, ever that I have been pregnant with any of our babies. Aidan was born at 27 weeks, Addison was born at 30 weeks and Asher was born at 31 weeks. Amazing isn't it?? Amazing that He would bless us with such a desire of my heart AND keep her in utero the longest of them all. He is using this baby as a total testimony to His glory my friends...and that I can't begin to even explain to you how this delights my heart. It brings me to happy tears every single day that she stays where she is supposed to be growing...inside me rather then inside an incubator at the hospital. Remember that situations can be used for God's glory and this is by far our clearest example yet....

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

God is so Good!! How wonderful! This little girl is a blessing from God but is blessed as well to belong to such an incredible woman. Enjoy every last moment over this next very few weeks. One day soon, this healthy, full term little baby girl will be running all your lives!! Praise God!!

Heather

ET @ Titus2:3-5 said...

Oh Shauna, you get me all teary-eyed... She is a blessing, and our God is so faithful. And your writing is so beautiful that you MUST do it more often! I love reading what you have to say, there is always something profound and thoughtful here.

Love you friend,
ET

Anonymous said...

You are so right my friend, God IS good, especially for those who are patient and ever loving of Him. You are an amazing mother, and this little girl will add a lot of love and joy to your family.... she will add a whole new dimension to your family! I am so thankful you have made it to 33 weeks, and I can't wait until you can bring that little girl home... only a few more weeks my friend.... hang in there!!
love you!
G

Jilene said...

Totally crying! What beautiful words, Shauna! I am beyond excited for you. I can't wait to meet your beautiful little girl and I'm so thankful that she has taken up residency with you for so long. Such bond building time for you girls...and with all those boys around perhaps she's holding off until she's better able to hold her own against them :) What an amazing blessing!