Gingerbread Time

Our first family photo with all of us in it...I took 4 of them and that is the best we got :)

Note the look on Wes' face in the above photo...this photo is taken right after Asher decided to dump all the itty bitty candies on the table and half ended up on the floor.

Yes, we even forced Aidan to join in on the "fun" and put a few candies on. He thought he was too cool to decorate...why wouldn't a 10 year old boy love this????

Our finished product is in the photo above and you can find my post down below:

Last year I bought a "giant" gingerbread house to decorate with the kids. The kit sat in our garage for an entire year until today. I decided, since we were going to have a "home day" it would be fun? to decorate this house. The kids had already done some decorating on a house that Grandma Barb had built but that was over a month ago...so...off I went to mix the icing. About 10 minutes into the icing mixing and trying to get the house to stick together I was questioning "why am I doing this??" as there seemed to be icing EVERYWHERE(so much so that I was afraid to get the good camera out to even attempt a photo) and I am sure the little guys ate half of what was supposed to be our building glue. Anyways, after that dried and I had cleaned up a little and everyone had lunch we began to decorate. Wes took over the icing duties while I snapped away with the camera (one of my favorite places to be). After the decorating and vacuuming was done we decided we would keep the gingerbread tradition for Grandma Barbs house :)

Our Tree Tradition

In 1999 I started buying a Christmas ornament and putting a photo in it of the each child...well at that time there was only Aidan. I have done that every year since then and so you can imagine our tree is getting nice and full of "photo ornaments." What better ornaments could there be for someone who loves photos so much? Aidan is on his 10th ornament this year and Abigail is on her first. Each year when I take the ornaments out of the box I love seeing how the kids have changed over the year(s) and take much time and care to make sure they are wrapped carefully when it is time to put them away. I treasure these as my heart lies in each one holds memories of each of our children at a certain time in their lives.

Here are the ornaments for 2009:

Saying No to the enemy

Do you ever feel like you cannot do anything right? That you aren't good at anything you try to do? Feelings of failure have been plaguing me lately. I am lacking confidence in my abilites and seem to constantly be second-guessing what I once thought I was good at.

My most important roles are being challenged:

My most important role, that of a child of God. Have I been reading my bible? No. Have I been going to church? Not the last couple of weeks. Have I prayed and given praise to the Lord? Not nearly as much as I should be. Do I love and worship Him and realize He is the Light of this world?? Absolutely!!

My role as a wife to an amazing husband. Have I been supportive in this career change for him? Not really. Have I respected the job he does for us as a family? Not consistently. Have I shown him I love him and am so happy we share this life together? Not always. Do I love this man for the wonderful dad and husband he is and the huge support he is to me?? More then my words can say!!

My role as a mommy to 3 boys and our newest 6 week old baby girl. Have I shown then love, patience, kindness? Not consistently. Have I taken the time to dive into them and make each of them feel special? Not lately. Have questions like "how am I going to handle having 4 kids?" or "how is THIS fun?" ran through my head over the past couple of weeks? Unfortunately. Do I love each one of these little monkeys more then I can write about? YES...I am so thankful for each one of them and that God sees me fit to be a mom to them and raise them with my wonderful husband. But this thought is not the first thing that plays in my mind.

I have many other roles that are important too...the role of a daughter, sister, and friend. And my first question is "have I done well in those relationships? Have I held up my end of the relationship??" Not consistently once again.

I feel a whole lot of inconsistencies as we adapt to some big changes. A career change for Wes, our new blessing of a baby girl being born, and being a mom to 4 kids.

As I read a devotion that came across my email this morning (what divine timing) it states "in our times of trial, Satan comes to us bringing lies 'You are surrounded and you will never get out', 'You're a failure otherwise you wouldn't be going through this', 'There is something wrong with you and God is sorely displeased.' "

"Hezekiah had very nearly fallen for the enemy's trick. The fact is if we don't stand up to Satan's lies - if in our hour of crisis, we don't turn to faith and prayer, if we don't draw strength from God's promises of deliverance - the devil will zero in on our faith wavering faith and intensify his attacks." (The bible tells us that God supernaturally delivered Hezekiah and Judah.)

And so, today I am reminded that as believers we stand on a promise and the shed blood of Jesus Christ. We can have victory over every sin, temptation, and battle that we will ever face.

So today I cry out to the Lord: please deliver me from these thoughts from the enemy and instill the fruits of the spirit on me and in the many roles I play. Fill me with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Give me the energy to dive into your word everyday...to read and to understand and to know that my time with You is more important then any other time spent. I want You at the forefront of my thoughts, giving You the praise and the glory for the privledge to raise our children and I long to do that in a way that is pleasing to you. Fill me with joy to do the jobs You want me to do. I know you are such a mighty and loving God and I am so very thankful.

Joy of the Father

On November 3 I attempted to capture a daughter and father moment. As you may have read in an earlier post, our sweet daughters name Abigail means "joy of the Father" and I know for certain that her earthly Father is so in love with her. She will never be as small as she was on that day as we see her growing so quickly and it has only been 1 month since we have held her in our arms.

Our Trick or Treaters

Here are the boys going from house to house. Asher wouldn't carry a bag for his treats, he just wanted to hold the candy in his hand. So, as we would go to the next house he would drop his candy and take the new candy. So, I was his "candy bag holder".

Aidan wanted to be all gory and bloody...what is it with 10 year old boys?? He was hoping for Jason from the Friday the 13th movies (which he has never seen so where he would get the idea I don't know) but he "settled" on getting a couple "bloody" things for his face...I wish you could see the pencil sticking out of his forehead a little better...I should have taken it at a different angle and the gore on is cheek is supposed to be a bullet shot....(can you see me rolling my eyes and shaking my head?? Haha)

Well our little Asher was something cute this year...as I still got to pick out his costume I chose something Disney...why? Because I LOVE Disney characters! I would have the whole family dress in Disney if they would....but Addison had his own idea:

Nope, nothing cutesy for him...he wanted to be Batman. Aidan (from when he was smaller) has some Batman guys around the house that Addison plays with and when he saw this costume he wanted this one. Every house we would go to he would say "can we go to another house" as soon as he got the candy...he is so darn excitable!! He had a great time trick or treating and will be reaping the benefits of candy-eating for months to come I am sure for the haul he pulled in!

Our littlest Abigail didn't go out trick or treating...much too windy and cold for a newborn to be out. So, our little pumpkin hung out with Grandma and Grandpa Pallister. Next year, I am seeing a one year old princess trying to keep up to her older brothers...oh the fun!!

October 13 - She Arrives

It has been a while....welcome me back :) There has been lots going on around our house...I will begin with a most important day...October 13, it was a Tuesday. To tell you the absolute truth I couldn't write for a couple weeks before this day because of my emotions. You see, we had a c-section scheduled for this day, for our sweet little girl to come into the world if she had not entered it on her own. Lots of us had been waiting and waiting, expecting this little girl to come out well before her due date like all of her brothers did. But no, not her....you see God has been working so incredibly in our lives that He gave us a full-term baby. He told me long ago in this pregnancy that He was going to give me new experiences, and my friends He did! He kept this baby girl growing inside me so that we could experience what it was like to have a full term baby, to keep her in the hospital room, to cuddle her whenever we wanted, to hold her against my chest without one cord attached to her or any alarms going off from being connected to monitors, and to take her home with us when I was discharged from the hospital. All the praise be to God for He is so good.

So, at 12:38pm on October 13 our sweet Abigail Rose was born weighing in at a whooping 8lbs. 3 oz. and was 21 inches in length. The experience with the hospital staff wasn't the best, but I knew through the whole procedure that all I could turn to was our Heavenly Father. I prayed through the whole thing...and for the administration of the epidural I actually prayed out loud, in a room full of operating staff, as I was overcome with fear that I knew He was the only one who could get me through it. And when we heard her first cry we were elated and so full of praise and gratitude as the doctors said "she is so big." (They knew our biggest baby previously was 4 lbs. 3 oz.). Our little girl was here and I couldn't wait to hold her in my arms.

It has been a little over 3 weeks since that wonderful day and we are loving life. I say that right now as the house is quiet, with everyone napping and I am full of caffeine from my afternoon coffee. There have definitely been ups and downs as we, as a family of 6 now, adapt to our new little person, lack of sleep, mommy's hormones, daddy's work schedule, and the list goes on. But we are simply overjoyed with our family. Wes and I look at our sweet Abigail and rejoice in serving a Lord that is so loving to us who are so undeserving at times.

We named her Abigail because it means "joy of the Father" and I heard directly from God that is what her name would be. Wes and I had originally chosen another name, but the very next day after our decision God spoke to me and clearly told me what we were to name her. We were obedient and pray that this little one brings joy to everyone who knows her, as well as to our Heavenly Father. Her middle name is Rose as my middle name is Rose and I wanted us to have a connection that only a mom and daughter could have. (Not sure that any of the boys would have wanted the name "Rose"). My grandmas name (my dads mom) is Rose as well and that is where I carry it on from so it is cool to be able to take it to the next generation. I am absolutely in love with our little girl...am loving dressing her, putting her in little hats and hairbands...can't wait for the little barretts, piggie tails, and dresses!! Thank you Lord for such an amazing blessing in our sweet little Abigail.

Boys in Bunks

A little over a month ago we purchased bunk beds for the two little guys as they are now going to share a bedroom. Asher's old bedroom has been painted pink and is awaiting the arrival of a new little sister for the boys.

Addison being the oldest of the two gets the top bunk and Asher gets the wider double bunk on the bottom. I have found this to be one of the cutest things ever...Asher will climb up the ladder (it took him a good couple weeks to figure the climbing part out much to our dismay) and we find the boys sleeping together on the top bunk. Aren't they just the cutest??? So, the two nights we have found them like this I have asked Wes to go downstairs, get the camera, stand on the bottom bunk and take their picture. He knows how much photos mean to me so he does it with a smile...ok so the other night he wasn't smiling but he still did it :)

God bless little boys and bunk beds :)

New Logo

The sight of this makes me so happy....it is my new logo thanks to Jilene Hay from Sketch 22 Web & Graphic Design. The thoughts and ideas going through my head regarding starting a photography business are free and flowing constantly. My passion for taking photos started way back when I was in Junior High school and I got my first camera as a gift. Of course, those were the film days but I remember saving my money so I could buy film and get more and more photos developed. Not a whole lot has changed...other then the fact that now I am saving for a full-frame Nikon D700 and a Nikon AF-24-70mm f/2.8 Nikkor Lens.

Photos make me happy. Taking photos makes me even happier. I feel like taking photos can be a blessing to others if I can capture moments in time so they can remember them forever. Like the little dry-skinned toes on a newborn only last for so long....that first kiss after a husband can kiss his new bride for the first time as a married couple only happens once...overall I want to capture the beauty in God's work. He has created something so wonderfully and inexplicably amazing in each of us, in this world, everywhere we look that I strive to attempt to capture it so someone can appreciate it. Hence the business name "Creation Photo". It means more to me then "just" a business name...it gives me a purpose and a constant reminder of how a gift of taking photos may in return bless someone else or open someon else's eyes to the wonder as well.

So, as this business is going to have a slow start I am still focused on the One who brought me to it. We have a blessing of a baby to be born in the next few weeks and you can bet that my camera will be right by my side attempting to capture the beauty in this glorious work of His Hands.

Until I get a new blog, you can check out this one so see some of my work. I can't wait to capture your beauty through some of my photos as well.

Amazed...

As I lay on the loveseat with my extremely swollen feet elevated and under an ice pack I am revelling in the amazement of our Heavenly Father.

On the weekend I attended a Simulcast at our church that had Beth Moore speaking on "The Heart of our Desires." One of the things that kept coming to me over and over on Friday evening as I listened to Beth's statements about Psalm 37 Verse4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart"
was that this baby girl that I am carrying has been a desire of my heart probably since Aidan was born...that is a good 10 years girlfriends! Beth talks about a legitimate heart desire has a wait involved...it has to be tested by time and a sustained longing that is unaffected by mood or surroundings. The desire has to be cultivated in us. Well I had a whole garden of little girl ideas going on in my head...any little girl I could get my hands on I would paint their nails, do their hair, even shop for little girl clothes for everyone elses little girls.

With each pregnancy I longed for a little girl of my own...and when we were pregnant with our third baby and found out he was a boy through the ultrasound, I faced a good couple of weeks of having to deal with the fact that I might only be the mother to boys. It was almost like grieving for something I thought I might have the chance of getting but then didn't get. Not that I was not thankful for our dearest little Asher, but I had to deal with the fact that a deep desire was, once again, turned down by God. But now I see that God rewards preservance of faith and I can't stop smiling about all He has given me in this little girl and more...

Today this baby girl of ours is 33 weeks gestation. This is the longest, ever that I have been pregnant with any of our babies. Aidan was born at 27 weeks, Addison was born at 30 weeks and Asher was born at 31 weeks. Amazing isn't it?? Amazing that He would bless us with such a desire of my heart AND keep her in utero the longest of them all. He is using this baby as a total testimony to His glory my friends...and that I can't begin to even explain to you how this delights my heart. It brings me to happy tears every single day that she stays where she is supposed to be growing...inside me rather then inside an incubator at the hospital. Remember that situations can be used for God's glory and this is by far our clearest example yet....

Yesterday...

Yesterday was a great day...a fabulous day...a wonderful day! We went to Drumheller. It may not sound that glorious to you, but to someone (me) who has kinda been couped up at home, doing the same thing day after day after day...any sort of change was welcomed and so nice! It was a spontaneous sort of decision (all the better sometimes) and we ended up touring the Royal Tyrell museum and going to the Hoo Doos just outside Drumheller for a little bit. My body surprised and amazed me at how well it coped with the slow paced walking. It was so nice for our family to get out and do something like that together....I loved every minute of it!! Then that evening I joined 12 other women in my first bible study called "Listening to God" and it was great. Since Wes is home in the evenings consistently I am so blessed to be able to start this and am excited about what I am going to learn. Thank you Lord Jesus for providing, in every little detail, just what we need.

Skater Boy

Here is our Aidan...

Almost 10 years old...

Passed Grade 4...

New long board...

Posing for mom...

Our Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day! Today was a beautiful day here in Red Deer. I always love Canada Day, and love getting the boys matching t-shirts and taking their photos (imagine that). I wasn't able to get a decent group photo of the boys together, but did manage to take some of each of them. Since I wasn't feeling well enough for a lot of walking (we had wanted to go for a weiner roast at the park) we ended up having a little picnic in our backyard. Do you know how much I love our back yard??? So, Wes' parents brought most of the food over and we had a picnic lunch. Wes filled the little pool with water, which Asher spent most of his time in. Our nephew Trysten is here visiting us so he was able to enjoy the day with us as well. Later on we went to my parents for a wonderful supper. I am so thankful for our wonderful country and all the freedom we have! Thank you Lord for giving us such a wonderful place to live and call home.

For Today

For Today (June 22, 2009)

Outside my window...the wind is howling, trees are moving making it a yucky day to play outside for the kiddies.

I am thinking...about Wes who took the little kiddies to McDonalds Play Place so I could rest easy, and about the Asian chicken salad he is going to bring me home for lunch...yummy!

I am thankful for...the past weekend, time together with family, laughing children, being able to take some photos, cuddles from Aidan once he got home yesterday, that Wes loved his Fathers Day gift, my mom for 2 delicious meals this weekend, and yet another day that Baby A is staying in to grow.

From the kitchen...can't see anything getting cooked for supper tonight, so will be a good pizza night.

I am wearing...my pj's STILL (and it is 12:30pm)..not feeling very motivated to get showered and dressed today...seems like too much energy.

I am creating...nothing...but love looking at all the websites of other amazing ladies that are in the process of "creating"...been really missing scrapbooking this past week.

I am going...to have to go to Thyme Maternity this week sometime to buy some maternity shorts as I don't have any that fit me and wearing pants in hot weather just isn't "cool."

I am reading...my bible at least one time a day, emails and love to reads friends blogs.

I am hoping...that Baby A is born full-term and healthy.

I am hearing...commercials on TV in the background as I type.

Around the house...I am trying to get a few loads of laundry done today...will probably be all I do that is "productive".

One of my favorite things....downloading and looking at photos on the computer after a fun weekend with family.

A few plans for the rest of the week...quite day of rest tomorrow as Wes is going out to the Gas Plant for training and the little guys will be with my mom, a doctors appointment, visits with friends.

A photo for today...

Thank You Lord

I lay on the couch awaiting my husbands arrival home from a run...he now runs 8km every second evening. His goal is to do a half-marathon sometime in the near future. As I think about having 124 days left in this pregnancy, I can't even imagine running around the block :) As this baby and my belly grow I am so thankful for every single day that she is staying inside. She is at 22 weeks gestation today. How exciting!

So, our household has had a very blessed week. We made the decision last week that we are going to try to have Wes stay home from work at the gas plant to care for his family during this time of "baby-growing." Our Addison has gone from being a little monster (spitting at my mom during tantrums) to a little boy who listens and thanked me today for inviting his friend Corbin over to play (without any prompting). We have seen such a change in his behavior as he is adapting to this new family arrangement of having daddy and mommy at home and getting to sleep in his own bed every night. So, Wes has applied for a Leave Of Absence from work at the gas plant and will do real-estate to fill in the missing pay cheques. (It is so much easier finding a sitter for a couple hours here and there if Wes has to go out and work a deal for real-estate then find someone to watch them for 13 hours in one day.) We are totally trusting in our Lord and feel such a peace that this is the right thing to do for our family at this time in our lives. Wes has amazed me with his patience and positive attitude this past week in having to look after all of us. He is such an amazing guy. One sale and two listings for real-estate have also come his way this week, which too has been such a blessing. We have had people come over and hang out and encourage us, and we have been thankful. So thankful for all that we have and all that is to come...Thank you Lord!!

Relationships

I sat here staring at the screen for a few minutes before coming to a conclusion about what to write about today. One thing that has stood out for me this past week is the value of relationships. The first and foremost important relationship is that between Jesus and I. I have seeked Him more this past week then ever before and I can't explain to you the comfort I feel as I know He is with us and overseeing this whole situation. Anyone that knows me real well may know that my husband is the "people person" and I am a little bit more to myself. As I grow closer to God, I yearn for relationship with people. After a whole lot of resting last week I had way too much time to think and I felt lonely almost every day. The days I did not feel lonely were the days that someone was over at our house. So, when people have been asking what I need or what they can do for us I have told them...we need visitors or we need a visit. It has become one of the highlights of my day, whereas I didn't feel that way before. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I didn't like having people over...but it was usually my husband pushing me to call someone or go and do something with someone. Now, it is God telling me that I need relationship and I need people in my life to help us get through this bedrest situation. I am finally convinced that I cannot do this on my own. I am so confident in saying that I, and we as a family cannot grow this little baby girl without the Lord. And today, my husband finally feels a peace that God is with us in all of this which has been a major stressor between us. Wes wanted to do and fix everything hiimself...and now we are looking up, looking to our Heavenly Father to guide us to how to live these next 4 months. Tears come to my eyes as I feel so calm and at peace compared to the feelings of fear, worry, and being a burden to those around us. What a comfort when we are able to enlist God's power through prayer and trust in the knowledge that He is in control.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:34 THE MESSAGE

So, thank you to every special person who has lifted us up in your prayers, for every special person who comes by for a visit, for every special person who calls to see how things are going, to every special person who has cared for our little guys when Wes has worked, to every special person who has brought a meal or dessert by, to every special person who even sends an email to let us know they are thinking of us. We couldn't do it without Jesus and you....

Time

See my new little ticker on the right? There is baby A :) 139 days to go...wow! Wow, wow, WOW! That is a whole lot of days. In the grand scheme of my life though...not so much. These are the little conversations that go on in my head over the last few days, since finding out that the only way I feel good is if I rest for most of the day. Rest laying down mainly so there is less pressure on my cervix. My antibiotics for the UTI are almost done and I thought I might feel better at this stage but I am not. Having 3 kiddies and being on a bed rest is something to adjust to that is for sure. Will it all be worth it in the end? Yes, that is for sure. I have to focus on the fact that we need to do this for this baby GIRL, so she can grow in this incompetent body of mine. Today has been easy to rest, as Wes went to work and the little guys are at Grandmas & Papa G's and Aidan is at school. So, I rest easy. It is once they are home that I want to hang out with them...watch them play, water my plants outside, take photos, even do dishes, make meals and do laundry! Wes' parents came over last night after the kiddies were in bed and that was so nice...we had some good conversation and a game of Scrabble. That is what we need...to still be in contact with people so that this whole "rest" thing doesn't seem like some sort of plague. So, ideas of things I can do while I am resting...well I know there are tonnes of things I want to do, like read all those books I buy and never make time to read and now I have the time to work with my Photoshop program that I used to complain that it all just takes so much "time" to figure out. I am going to be sad when the boys start doing summer activities, because of course they should still enjoy themselves even though I can't come. Why am I anticipating this already?? I should stop typing all my thoughts. So, that being said...I guess I ask that you if you think of me through your day, send a little prayer up for Jesus for my spirit...that I can remain positive in all of this...and that I can be an encourager and so supportive to my husband who, all of a sudden, is both Mom & Dad. Wes is such an amazing guy, just trying to do everything he can for us...and it tires him and I can understand that. He feels pressure to be at home, he feels pressure to be at work...HE is in demand my friends and I am so glad he is by my side...him and Jesus...wouldn't do life without them :)

Live Your Faith

Yesterday was a very exciting day for me....maybe for some others in our family too, but all I can account for on here are my emotions and those alone. We had our ultrasound yesterday and we found out (without 100% accuracy as ultrasounds don't guarantee gender) that we are having a little GIRL. Yes...a girl! A baby girl, girl, girl. I was so emotional over this exciting news, I couldn't call enough people or smile any bigger. Tears of joy ran out of the corner of my eyes as I thanked God first and foremost. And with that I have a "God story" for you....

I hear God "speaking" to me often...usually it is when I am getting ready in the mornings, in our bathroom. A couple of months ago, early on in the pregnancy, I was in the shower and God told me "I will give you a girl." He keeps His messages to me pretty short and sweet, unless that is all I am able to "hear" at this time in my life. It took me a while to process this, and as with all things in a pregnancy, everyone seems to guess what you are having and I really felt like I was having a boy...except for this one message that I "heard" the one day. I told Wes about it a few weeks later, and remember asking him...well who else would tell me this? Who else but God? Who else meets me in the morning like this, in the shower, as I sing/hum worship songs and often pray as I wash my hair? But, I kept on telling peopole that I thought this baby was a boy...because part of me didn't want to feel diappointed if it was a boy. (We already have three wonderful boys) I know how I felt when we found out that Asher was a boy, and it took me time to deal with the fact that I wasn't going to have the little girl I so longed for. I didn't want to feel sad again. I was preparing myself mentally for a boy, just in case. Then, earlier on this week, on Monday I think it was...God met me in the morning again and I heard "just trust me." Well now this really got me thinking...but I still wasn't able to 100% trust what I was "hearing" because I was scared. And now, as we found out yesterday...God was speaking to me all along...He was telling me what I longed to know, what my heart desired so deeply...that we would have a baby girl in our family.

So, now I feel a bit foolish...I was even scared to tell anyone about what I heard (except Wes) because what if what I was hearing was wrong? Did I put those little thoughts in my head? What if I was just making stuff up to make me think a certain way?? Why did I doubt the word of God? How do I not do that again? Why can't it be easier to "hear" Him? I can't put a fleece out like Gideon (Judges 6)and command God to show me certain things to prove to me that He is real, and that His word and His love are real. I need to live my faith and trust fully in His word, His plan, and His love.

Wow...isn't He amazing?

Tomorrow

Well here I am...at almost 20 weeks pregnant. My boys were willing to go to the tracks last night so I could take some photos of them. I asked Aidan to take a photo of me so I could remember what I looked like at 20 weeks pregnant. I have a total of about 4 pregnancy photos of me from the other boys...Wes thinks I look beautiful...he loves the whole belly thing...but I don't see myself the same way when I look in the mirror. I tend to focus on the beauty that is growing and changing each week INSIDE.

So, tomorrow is going to be an exciting day. We have our 20 weekish ultrasound. I know we saw the baby on ultrasound 3 weeks ago, but tomorrow we might be able to find out the sex of the baby. Wes has to work tomorrow so Aidan (our oldest son) is going to come with me to see the baby on the little computer screen and be one of the first ones to find out if it is a boy or girl...and he is pretty excited about it.

So, what is your vote...is it a boy or girl?

Halifax

I arrived home yesterday after a visit to Halifax, Nova Scotia to see my BFF Ginette. She and her family moved to Shediac, New Brunswick almost a year ago. We decided to meet in Halifax this time and have a little "girls time." So, off I went on Tuesday evening (plane left at 11pm and arrived in Halifax at 6:30am NS time...something I wouldn't do again unless Westjet somehow gets beds for these flights) and came home yesterday morning. My wonderfully amazing husband was at home with the kiddies all that time...isn't he GREAT? Well I think so. So we did a bit of touring around on the first day after I had a little nap at the hotel...that was probably our busiest day there. The rest of the days were filled with shopping, visiting, scrapbooking, some driving and touring along the coast of Nova Scotia (just to Lunenberg and back to Halifax) as I couldn't seem to handle the winding roads very well, feeling nauseous and not able to even look out the side windows to "tour" the beautifully laid back side of Canada. One awesome thing that we got to do together is scrapbook, which we started up together in 1996 at a Creative Memories get together. I was able to complete 18 pages of Addison's First Year scrapbook, which would take me forever to get done at home here. Thanks my dear friend Ginette for a wonderful get-away!

Baby A

Here is Baby "A" at 16 weeks gestation. It was so exciting to see the baby today. I am not sure why but I was emotional at seeing our little peach on the screen today. It was so amazing to see its little legs and arms moving. Even with the 4th baby, maybe even more special because I know this will be the last of the baby experiences I want to take them all in and not take them for granted. The sex of the baby could not be accurately determined by the technician as it is a little bit too tiny, and that is ok because I wasn't expecting to find out this ultrasound anyways. If the remainder of this pregnancy goes anything like the last pregnancy we will have more upcoming ultrasounds and be able to see his or her little "parts" then. Until then I praise God for this little one...

His Word and Trust

As my little "peach" grows inside me I pray daily for God to show me a full-term pregnancy. A pregnancy that goes to 40 weeks, a birth that would allow our baby to be in a little bassinett and stay in our hospital room with me, a birth that would allow me to nurse my own baby without having to pump and have it fed to him/her through a tube into his/her stomach, a birth that would allow me to hold my baby as long as I wanted without worrying about his/her breathing, if they are too cold, if their monitors are going to ring and I will have to put him back in his isolette. I pray I will be able to take our baby home when my hospital stay from the mandatory c-section is over. These all would be brand new experiences for me and my husband.

In a daily devotion we get into our home email David Wilkerson writes how we need to read God's word and trust in it. He write out some scriptures knowing that one would speak to every person who reads it. This is what spoke to me today, this moment:

“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:18-19).

With Asher's birthday being yesterday, it stirred up some emotions in my that don't surface often and that has to do with the boys and their premature births and hospital stays. Today, after reading His word I feel a peace that He will give me those new experiences, because only He can. Thank you Lord!

Asher is 2!

Happy birthday to our dear sweet baby boy! Our littlest guy (so far) turns 2 year old today! All I can think about today is how fast time goes by. It doesn't seem like it was that long ago when I was taken by ambulance to give birth to this little 31 week gestation baby. I get tears in my eyes now as I think of him when he was born, or rather how long it took me to actually open a place in my heart for him. It took me exactly 1 week to feel any kind of connection with him. I remember the Sunday I went over to my mom's and her cigarette package was sitting on the counter. On the package it had a photo of premature baby and the warning that smoking during pregnancy may cause premature birth and something about infant death. I didn't smoke when I was pregnant but all I could see was how Asher looked like that laying in the hospital up in Edmonton, still hooked up to machines to help him breathe on his own. I started crying and told my mom I had to go to Edmonton to see him. Aidan came with me in the van. I remember crying all the way to Edmonton. I didn't call the hospital that morning like I usually did, so when I got there, it broght me to more tears to see that during the night he had to go back on the ventilator to help him breathe. There are so many of these little set backs as they go through their NICU journey, but each one still makes me cry and you would think I would be prepared but I never am. So, almost the whole visit with him I cried..and almost the whole way home I cried. I don't know what it was about that day, but I remember it well because my heart was so broken because of what he was going through to survive that I finally felt something for my baby. I was mad that he had to be in the hospital. All a mom wants to do is hold, cuddle, smell, feed and love on her own little baby when they are finally out of the womb and I couldn't do that...again...for the 3rd time and I was hurt. I know there is a reason that he came early, and that God has had him under his loving protection since the minute he was conceived but I still wanted to do all those things that "normal" moms get to do. I am embarassed to admit that, but I think it is time to deal with that. Now, Asher has a most special place in my heart. I always rocked him longer, held him longer...because he was my baby and I didn't know if I would ever have a baby to do that with again so I was not going to miss out on a minute of it. I didn't get to do that with Addison because I was pregnant so soon after his birth with Asher and with all the pregnancy complications I couldn't even lift Addison and he was barely walking yet at that stage.

Wow, I had a bit to share there. Well...just so you know...how very special this little guy is and how the time flies by. I think I might just have to give him a special little mommy time in the rocking chair before bed tonight :)

We had a little birthday party for him on Sunday and spent some time with both of our families. Asher's favorite character right now is Blue's Clue as he absolutely becomes overjoyed when I put the movie on for him. It was watching that movie that he said some of his first words "go, go, go" when a train would go on the screen and "wwhhheeee" when Blue and his friends slid down a rainbow. Man, he is cute!! I wish you could have heard his little voice when Wes brought out our gift to him of a firetruck...he goes "wwoooow" and got in it right away...little sweetheart!

Wow!

Well I have been waking up in amazement the last two mornings. Why? Because our three year old, who we were having major issues with his sleeping, has now decided that he is not going to cry/scream and is going to stay in his "big bed" all night long. It was a little bit of a process for sure (God gave me some amazing amounts of patience for this), but the last 2 nights he did not even come into our room. His bedroom light was on this morning when we woke up, which makes me think that he woke during the night, got up and turned his light on and then went back to his bed all by himself. Way to go Addison!! This has made the whole bedtime experience fun...we came up with a routine and we do the exact same thing every night...pee on the toilet, 1 story in bed, prayers, hug, kiss, reinforce light will stay on and door will stay open, and he is good to go. He will often ask me what I will do downstairs, and I usually say "laundry." So, last night he hollers out to me as I was walking down the hall..."go fold the laundry mom." Haha...what a little character he is. Thank you to all who gave us advice on how to deal with this situation.

Tyler, you might want to start contracting your parenting services out :) See her blog (Titus2:3-5) and how she lives her life with 5 kids...yes you heard me 5 KIDS! (And I know Tyler you showed me how to post a link and I can't remember because I haven't done it since you showed me....uggh!)

Baby Eli

I was able to cuddle our newest nephew again this past weekend. He is 1 month old now. He seems to be a very content baby and is pretty darn adorable if you ask me.

Parenting Advice...anyone anyone?

Hi All! OK, so I am in desperate need. Desperate need of a 3 year old to go to bed in a decent manner. So far tonight, it has been 45 minutes of screaming and crying. This is every single night. I dread bed time. I seriously cannot handle this and have no clue what to do. Here is the story...

Addison used to go to bed good. Then there came a time when he asked us to lay with him in bed for 5 minutes. So we did that...5 minutes then we were ok to leave and he would go to sleep. Over time the 5 minutes turned to us laying with him til he fell asleep otherwise he would scream and cry and keep coming out of bed. So, I figured I could lay with him for 10-15 minutes to have the rest of the night in peace and quiet. Well that 10-15 minutes starting turning into 20-30 minutes and longer and I couldn't do that. We have 2 other kids that need attending to as well and when Wes is working nights I have to get all 3 of them to bed on my own. Then he started coming into our bedroom in the middle of the night, and as per Wes' moms suggestion we made him a "little bed" on the floor beside our bed. This worked super for a while...he would wake up, then bring his pillow to the floor in our room and lay down. Easy breezy, I didn't even have to get out of bed and he was back to sleep. Then a few weeks ago, instead of wanting to fight with him to go to bed in his room, we let him go straight to bed in the "little bed." Wow, this was so easy...goodnight, kisses, hugs and asleep. And now....now we put him to bed there...he wants us to lay with him on our bed when he goes to sleep. When we don't...he screams, cries, gets out of bed, says he has to pee, says he has to poop, goes and sits on the toilet...anything but go to sleep. He now has requested all the lights on in all the rooms near him...so in the bedroom, in our bathroom and in the hallway. If we do not leave them on he gets up and turns them on. We have threatened him with going back to his "McQueen bed" and have put him back in there several nights with him only to be quiet and sneak back to sleep on the floor in our room, and we leave him because he has put himself to sleep. We have even tried to lock the door so he can't come out of his room, but I can't keep the door locked for too long without feeling terrible.

I seriously don't know what to do, as I still hear him screaming upstairs. I have never ever been so frustrated as I am at this point. I recognize that I have let him push us and we give in and he just takes and takes. But I can't handle it anymore. He sometimes says "he is scared." Is he scared to be alone? We have tried to put a night light in his room and he just pulls it out and tosses it. Then, there is the whole nap issue...I know if he has a nap in the afternoon he does NOT go to bed well at all, or else he ends up going to bed at 10pm. But he did not have a nap today, and he is still up freaking out and it has been over an hour.

So, any advice?

Mini Album

Hi there...I did a little workshop for our church ladies scrapbooking group yesterday titled "Faithbooking." Doing this little project really opened my eyes into how I can, and should, incorporate God's work/word into our albums to be passed on for generations. We already want to share our memories with others, why wouldn't we want to share our faith at the same time?? So, here are some pics of the mini album I made. I could add pages and pages to this book as there are so many gifts from God that I receive. In hindsight, I think I would have done a bigger album so I would be able to write more about each "gift."